suroki loves...

fashion

2010-09-15T18:00:00.000-04:00

I'm in such an artistic funk. I think I finally have a style, but I'm just now learning how to best implement different tools to achieve the desired result. Charcoal and 18"x24" drawing pads are my best friends these days. I used to get so upset when I was forced to use that size paper for an assignment, but now I prefer it! I wonder how I kept everything on a standard sketchbook page to begin with.

Fashion magazines really inspire me, and if art falls through as a career, I'm so very interested in the inner workings of the fashion industry. If only we could all be little prodigies like Tavi. (I love that little girl.) So I've been keeping my eye on internships in New York as I look for a normal job. Gotta keep the cash flow going! That's all for now.

variety

2009-11-15T18:41:00.000-05:00

Last week was crazy. Writing about it now, on Sunday evening, it feels so surreal and almost like it didn't really happen. To start it all off, Dan and I had some issues and there was a lot of heartbreak and sadness that didn't get resolved until late in the week. I experienced one of the worst nights I've ever had- chilled to the bone, trying to cry myself to sleep (but I couldn't even get off that easily), feeling more angry and depressed than I have for a long time, and all over a silly misunderstanding! Hah. I'm glad it's all over, and I've been happy as a bug since Friday.

Dan is the best boyfriend ever, not just for the usual reasons, but because he's so in tune to the same things that I am. I was actually thinking about this yesterday- I'm not really sure if we were like that before or if we've just grown to like the same things together through spending time together. Unattached, would we have gravitated towards the same events or musical interests? Whatever the case, it's great because the night after we saw the Shanghai Symphony Orchestra, we got our groove on to RJD2 spinning vinyl at Trayes Hall! Talk about eclectic tastes, hahaha. Both performances were awesome, though I have to say I enjoyed Yuja's powerful rendition of Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No.2 above all. My lovely roommate Jenny and I got chills listening to her play accompanied by the orchestra. :)

RJD2 was great! Except for his hit Ghostwriter, I had only listened to the tracks on his MySpace before the show. Still amazing live. Dancing and free glowsticks were a plus, too. Now I've gotta get back to writing a paper, but my mind is everywhere but in the realm of art history! I'm thinking about what to do for our anniversary coming up. 3 years and 8 months!! Gahahahahaaaaa. ♥

charity

2009-10-13T15:43:00.000-04:00

I just donated 20 inches of my hair! It feels so weird. I have a short bob now, an a-line cut that falls just above my shoulders. This is the first time my hair has been this short since I was, what- three? I'm so glad I went to the salon that I did, too. My stylist, Danielle, was amazing and she told me about how she ended up being a hairstylist. She left Rutgers when she realized it wasn't her calling, and went to hair school! Her portfolio of cuts is awesome. Trendy, edgy stuff for young adults. So rad. It's also the first time I've had a truly enjoyable conversation with a hair stylist. Probably easier since she's only a few years older than me. Anyway, I got this awesome cut and a much-needed wash, and when I went up to pay I found out it was FREE because of my epic donation! They just asked for $2 to cover the shipping. I gave Danielle $5 because it's all I had left on me in cash, and off I went! I feel like I should have given her more because it was free... but whatever, I can use all the rupees I get since I just got tickets to a musical event, too. (SO EXCITED for it; more on that later!) I wish all haircuts were only $7. Gah, and bang trims and touch-ups are free too!! BEST SALON EVER. It's called Indigo, if you're ever in need of a place. On George Street. I highly recommend it! :D

fall

2009-09-10T14:54:00.002-04:00

With the fall semester in tow, I'm pretty busy these days! My roommate, Jenny, is great and will definitely keep me on track with my studies. I've found that I actually like studying for Art History! The book is really interesting, and of course there's a multitude of pictures to keep it interesting. Next week we're starting Egyptian art; I'm excited for that! No new drawings to put up right now, but a photo I took of the beautiful Grace at Otakon. I love it, partially because Death Note is awesome (she's cosplaying Amane Misa) and partially because Grace is adorable. I am working on some cool things, though. A t-shirt design for film club! Various flyers! Emma Watson fanart! ...Haha on that last one. But I am. She's currently tiled on my desktop wallpaper. In other news, I'm in the mood for a new hairstyle recently. Nothing too dramatic, I think, but I'd like to do something neat with my bangs. They're so long and annoying.

The weather is getting nicer every day- sweater weather, my favorite! I can hardly wait 'til the leaves start changing and it gets windy. Crunch crunch crunch! I love fall. To me it means apple cider, warm nights indoors watching movies and playing games, and enjoying everyone's company. Enjoy the start of fall, everyone!

fireworks

2009-05-25T04:00:00.002-04:00

Mom, Dad and I went to Wolf Trap to see the US Marine Band perform patriotic songs in honor of Memorial Day. Towards the end of the program, I was pleasantly surprised by a few random numbers from musicals, with great singers! I thought I could have fallen asleep from the vocal-less, less exciting string of songs. (Plus it was too dark for me to continue reading Artemis Fowl.) After the performance, we got to watch a fireworks display! Honestly, I wasn't expecting much because I was intent on getting out of the parking lot before the hordes let out. But. The fireworks were AWESOME! It must have been a combination of the music playing, the smoke in the air, and the beauty of these amazing golden fireworks that started the waterworks. Three golden streams simultaneously shot out of the ground, fanning out into bursts of shimmering fairy dust, for lack of a better description. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. But I quickly wiped away my happy-tears, because Mom would probably think I'm crazy, hahaha.

In the art world, things have come to a most abrupt stop. It feels like art has left me completely. I also find myself putting people off on fun plans so I can play Guild Wars. Actually, that last bit doesn't really bother me, because Guild Wars is so much fun. Hahaha! But don't worry, I'll salvage my drawing pads from the garage one of these days and post something that I did last semester. Lots of black and white charcoal pieces from Figure Drawing. On a final note, I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. I think I'm on the right path. I'll keep you posted.

Working

2009-02-15T18:47:00.002-05:00

I NEED to do more artwork. It'll most likely be nice and cathartic. And then I'll have more work up! Well obviously. Look forward to it. (Or not.)

ballads

2009-02-15T05:10:00.002-05:00

Goodness gracious, Adele's song "Chasing Pavements" is the saddest song I've heard in a long time. I'm just sitting here listening to it, and crying my eyes out. I suppose it doesn't help that I can kind of relate to it. So sad.

I mean, the chorus is inspirational. It's phenomenal. I love those songs, where they're beautifully motivating although there's a hint of loneliness. Check the song out, I put in in my music player in the sidebar... so gorgeous. So don't worry, these be happy tears. Because Lorien Williams never gives up! Just having a hard time with certain things is all.

UTADASAAAAAN

2009-02-11T21:12:00.002-05:00

UTADA'S UPCOMING US ALBUM WILL INCLUDE A TRACK ENTITLED "MERRY CHRISTMAS MR. LAWRENCE - F.Y.I"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE THAT SONG. I LOVE UTADA. OMG OMG OMG OMG

detergent

2009-02-10T03:36:00.002-05:00

I really love the smell of detergent on clothes. Well, maybe it's fabric softener or bleach, but that fresh and clean aroma is hard to beat when it comes to making my nose happy. Not only the nice smell that makes it lovely, but inhaling the scent of a just-cleaned shirt or sweater just gives me such a peaceful feeling. It's very calming... Things that come to mind are my pillowcase and Dan's cardigan. Both very clean at the moment.

I have a lot of writing homework to do, but before I go here's another artwork! After masquerading around Facebook as Joe and successfully confusing many people, I decided to make a new profile picture. Haven't used my tablet for a while. I don't like the nose too much, but aside from that I'm pretty happy with it. Enjoy your Tuesday!

sadness

2009-02-04T04:01:00.005-05:00

I'm feeling just a little bit heartbroken right now. I don't know... I was just clicking around, and came upon something, and there it was. I'd seen it before, and I'm listening to the saddest, sweetest song I've ever heard, then bam, it's all coming out and I can't stop crying.

No sadness! Nevermind! I'm all dandy and stuff! I just found out that class was cancelled on Tuesday, so I didn't really miss my writing class! Yaaaaaay! Hahaha. I'm quite psycho, I know. Looks like today will actually be a good day, after all... I'm going to wear blue jeans and a white tee, and feel fabulous and American. ♥

curves

2009-02-02T16:42:00.002-05:00

Sorry it's been a while, I keep thinking that I have to upload a new picture whenever I update this. But I don't. I'm so glad I don't feel controlled by (you very few) readers' expectations anymore. That being said, classes have started and we're going full-throttle once more! Figure Drawing is the coolest class ever; I'm having a lot of fun drawing our models and learning how to quickly gauge proportion and all that. I love it. A new drawing of today's model, Felicia, should be up soon. Later!

finals

2008-12-10T10:56:00.003-05:00

Finals are almost over! Wooooo! Just one more after today... Although technically it still feels like two since I haven't finished my Artmaking one yet. That's gonna be a load of shit on canvas. I really don't feel attached to it in any way like I did my Drawing final. I don't even know what I'm going to do yet, honestly... Don't get me wrong, it's not like I haven't started at all! I have a canvas painted with this pretty, semi-intricate flower pattern all over it, outlined in gold pen. My problem is figuring out what to put in the foreground. And I actually like it a lot just the way it is, I'm just positive that Sue won't accept it without something that looks like it took a long time on it. Dammit, Sue! It's taken me a long time already! Sigh.

Hahaha, JD just sat next to me (I'm in the computer lab) and we had a short conversation. Mostly about scheduling my time, and becoming more efficient. He's actually pretty wise, it's funny how I would never have imagined that after our first meeting. I really love him. Oh well, better get back to doodling... Oh yeah, I started drawing something on the bus that I like more than the sketches for my Artmaking final. I'll try and finish it up and post pictures when I get back to my dorm. See you later.

sunrise

2008-12-03T08:58:00.000-05:00

I've discovered that my best days are ones where I see the sunrise. That being said, I probably haven't slept the night before and will be Miss Cranky Universe 2008 later in the evening. But the mornings are fantastic. Today I was working on a short paper for seminar about Man Ray's experiments in film, and my drawing final. Not much to say about either... I just want to go back to six o'clock, when I was sitting happily in the dining hall with my waffle, strawberries, and grapefruit juice. Taking a quick sprint across the giant field by my dorm to get there; singing out loud all the way back! Mmm, it was so nice.

Dan and I might go with one of his suitemates to the annual tree-lighting ceremony at Rockefeller Center in NYC tonight, if I can get away with emailing my Artmaking teacher a picture of the progress I've made on my final. That's all we're working on in class now, until school lets out. Good news! The ever-loveable grapevine tells me that there's no seminar final! Yippee! One less thing to worry about. In other news, I just enabled commenting, after Jeanine mentioned it. The only reason I had it turned off was because this blog used to be more personal, about things that I love for whatever reason, and I didn't want people putting anything down or being negative. That was a long time ago, though, and since the nature of Suroki Loves has changed, I can let up a little. No artwork up today, just my pleasant online hello. :)

waffles

2008-11-19T07:34:00.001-05:00

Ahhhh, registration for classes started last night at 10PM, so I was planning to skip KTP (film club) in order to register and be prepared and awesome. Unfortunately, I fell asleep around 8PM and woke up at 5AM today. AUGH. What that means is that I missed the first registration window, and now the next wave of students (who have fewer credits than I do) have signed up, therefore filling up more classes. Today's Lori is a sad Lori. I managed to move around Artmaking II with no problem, to make room for an English class that is lamer than the one I wanted to take, but Figure Drawing I was closed! Which happens to be the class I was most looking forward to next semester. I know there's something about special permission from the instructor if a class is full, so I searched out the professor's email address, which wasn't on the MGSA website, and sent her an email practically begging for special permission to get a spot in her class. I'm just sitting and waiting for her response now... Thinking about hitting up the dining hall for some waffles. Belgian waffles. Mmmm.

Oh hey, a painting up from senior year in high school. I don't like it too much, but it means something. Pretty much an end-of-the-year hurrah and "here's to freedom" piece. Lemon Queen is a variety of sunflower, if you were wondering. Oil on masonite.

suffering

2008-11-17T05:10:00.001-05:00

Ohmigod pain and suffering I shouldn't even be awake right now but I can't sleep because I am so freaking far behind and I should have done that painting a long time ago and I know I haven't updated weekly like I said I would but I've been working my ass off and AUGH THE PAIN NEVER STOPS. Breathe. It's going to be okay. The semester is almost over. Just do the painting, go to class, and jump back in. Keep working, don't think about how the charcoal is never going to wash off of your hands, just make it happen, because the world won't wait.

As you can tell, I'm starting to freak out just a little bit. I'm swamped and I don't like it. Didn't they ever mention that people need time to breathe?

Here's a new drawing to keep my followers satiated: 2-minute model sketch. Hahaha. Just kidding, that's not all. The random chick is a detail from a project that sucks the big one when viewed fully. That's why you only get to see the good part. Kinda unfinished, can you tell? Pencil, pen, acrylic, and marker. Peace out brahs, I need to get some sleep.

sleeping

2008-10-23T17:16:00.000-04:00

I never thought I'd say this, but sleep is underrated. I will never take it for granted again. Tamala, my stay-up-late-watching-game-shows-and-painting partner in crime, have already had to pull two all-nighters to get assignments done. When we stayed up until 9AM doing our Drawing midterms, we promised to make it the last time, but I can't shake the feeling that we'll end up doing it again... Oh, goodness gracious. The rigor of art school really caught me by surprise.

Since I forgot to update on Tuesday, I put up more pieces than usual. Dan's eye I just did for fun during the summer, and the SonyStyle contest was a while back, too. What I really want to do is comment on my thought process for a certain piece. For Design & Visual Thinking: Black & White, we were asked to make an image representing the concept of infinity. The blocks appear to go on forever off of the paper, and no special attention is paid to any of them in particular, but looking closer you'll see something very subtle. (See detail.) Here you can see the fingerprints I used to symbolize the importance of personal identity within the machine.

Nothing more, I was just proud of that concept. Most everyone else's pieces involved the known symbol for infinity, the figure eight, which I don't find very creative. And my teacher liked the idea and execution a lot, so I hope all goes well in the grading scheme of things. That's all for now; look forward to seeing my Drawing midterm!

drawing

2008-10-07T17:21:00.000-04:00

Really! Drawing Fundamentals is my favorite class so far. My teacher, JD, is an asshole most of the time, but we've all come to know and love him. (Just a little bit.) And he doesn't smell as bad as he did at the beginning of the year, when he used to smoke a lot. His girlfriend came to class yesterday! I was surprised, because I thought he was joking when he said he had a girlfriend. She was so pretty and nice... I wanted to ask if she was really going out with him! Hahaha. Oh, and tomorrow we're having a model come in! JD told us it was a girl and all the guys in the class got excited. Sam went up to JD and asked if he got to choose the model. When he said yes, Sam whispered, "Well then... I'm trusting your judgement," with a wink. My class...! It's so much fun.

Also, it could be due in part to JD's asshole qualities, but this is my only art class where I feel extremely inclined to do my best. To be the best. To have the best piece up on the wall when we do critiques. Maybe I'll be satisfied with myself if I just do a project that's better than Jenny's.

New piece up!

Change

2008-09-23T01:55:00.000-04:00

It was high time for the revival of this blog. Now suroki loves doubles as my artistic portfolio! I'm so excited to have this space where I can show the world what I've got. It's not much yet, but as I learn more and my skills grow, I'm sure my portfolio will develop into something worth looking at. Please come along with me for the ride!

Concerts

2007-07-06T04:13:00.000-04:00

I'm watching the UTADA UNITED performance from my favorite musician Utada Hikaru right now, and it blows my mind! I wish the tour included a closer stop to my town. She's so talented live, and can get everyone up on their feet excited. I love concerts. There's just something about seeing your favorite act on stage in front of you that's so exhilarating! I've only been to a few concerts in my lifetime, but with each experience the need for more just grows and grows. I've seen George Winston, moe., Jack's Mannequin, and a handful of random artists at Warped Tour 2004. Also saw Camino, MAX, and Peelander-Z at anime conventions over the years, but those don't really couuuuunt ^___^. I'd like to go see more concerts this year.

Enterprising

2007-06-11T12:32:00.000-04:00

Anna and I are going to be millionaires! I'm looking forward to it. That is all.

Testing

2006-10-18T14:53:00.000-04:00

Ahahaha, we had the first important test of the year today! I so love standardized testing :D. Call me crazy, but isn't it fun? Just sitting there, rushing to finish the last stretch of questions, read the passage, understand the freakin' hard math questions... Aaaah, I love the feeling. It was the PSAT (practice SAT), so the test was a mix of insanely simple questions to fucking hard problems. I breezed through the English sections, had more trouble on the math. I was actually surprised at the level of difficulty for some! Mostly this one about a 200m train going at a constant velocity of 20m/s through a tunnel in 70s. Yeahhhh, I totally blanked out XD. Anna got it, though! I think I just thought too hard about it. I forgot this was a test for people less mathematically inclined.

Anyway, today is fun so far, I'm just hanging at Andrew's. That seems to be the "cool" thing to do lately. Eeew, there's a weird sticky spot under my wrist!! Andrew, clean your computer space! >:O

Gummy Bears

2006-09-25T22:06:00.000-04:00

Not just any gummy bears! The ones I'm eating now are from Blueberry Hill (sorry, not Lane), and are the most amazing gummy bears I've ever eaten. In my life. They're fat free to boot! I still can't believe it. Oh, and they're not hard to chew like Haribo ones. They're orgasmically soft! With beautiful flavors! The green is my favorite, I'm guessing it's lime. Everyone needs to go find these gummy bears right now. Damn it, they're so generic! I'll never find them again... Better savor the third of the container I have left. DAMN IT AGAIN, I just had six cavities filled! Why the hell am I eating gummy bears?!

Friendship

2006-09-14T21:08:00.000-04:00

Don't you wish it were easier to keep friendships intact? Relationships are so delicate. It seems the more you put into them, the harder you crash when it falls. And believe me, it will fall. Whether it be by an emotional dispute or death, it's sad that something so fragile could be so certain in the end. I'm extremely grateful for all the wonderful friends I've made since moving here six years ago. Some have dissolved. Lack of correspondence. They've changed, I've changed, we didn't know each other anymore. But in the end, all I've got is what I've got right now. The friends that have stuck with me through thick and thin, and everything in between. May I now leave a shout-out to everyone that applies to. I love you.

Anticipation

2006-08-31T23:43:00.000-04:00

It is truly one of the best feelings to be felt. Just waiting to get that grade back on your finals. Squirming in your seat on the day of the test. Feeling the nerves mixed with excitement as you're waiting backstage for the set to start. Anticipation. You can feel the sweat starting. Breathe in! Part of you loves this feeling. I'm one of the people that love it. Right now what I'm excited about is the start of the school year. I have such an awesome schedule! Aside from the fact that Anna doesn't share any core classes with me, it's perfect. Two art classes, Yearbook, and the friends that I can't get enough of. Only four more days.

Strawberries

2006-07-26T22:43:00.000-04:00

Ah, strawberries. Where to begin? I find them to be the perfect summer fruit. Their mouth-watering flavor, beautiful hue... Nothing could be more suited to these hot and humid days! I like to just pop a 'berry or two into my mouth after dinner. Hmm, even artificially flavored strawberry drinks and candies are the best! Sorry I'm in such a hungry writing mood XD. I just realized that I haven't updated SL in a while. That's all for tonight! Go pick up some fresh strawberries and indulge a little!

Birthdays

2006-05-19T10:38:00.000-04:00

A person's birthday is one of the most important days of the year. If it passes by with no one noticing (even if you didn't tell anyone), you'll still feel sad for some reason. I'm glad that all of my good friends knew about my birthday on Tuesday; even Memai! I had the best day. Seriously. When you walk into your first period class, and see the most adorable cake that you have ever seen on your desk... It's going to be a great day XD. Gillian made me two little star-shaped cakes!! And the cake was strawberry-flavored; it was delicious :3. One even had one of those little paper umbrellas on it! She knows I love those and had always wanted one on something XD. Popo decorated my locker with a gorgeous "Happy Birthday" sign! And Memai's gift picture! Ohmigod, that was the best surprise of the day. We didn't even know how knew when my birthday was. Oh wait, thinking about it now, we're friends on MySpace. Duh!

Dan was a bit sad on Tuesday, which in turn made me a bit sad (I repeat, only a bit), but it was all good later in the day. In the morning he presented me with two bars of Ghirardelli milk chocolate...!! <3 If you have never had Ghirardelli chocolate, go get some NOW. It rocks... My ASS. In the afternoon I also received Harold from him, the most adorable yellow-checkered platypus plushie ever! One of those moshi-pillow dolls, and I adore it. Forgot now why I called him Harold, but whatever. Gah, my stomach hurts suddenly. See you tomorrow! (Talking to who? I dunno.)

Horoscopes

2006-05-13T03:56:00.000-04:00

I'm so depressed now, because I missed Dan's Eagle Project... Seriously, I don't think you even know how sad I am. I feel so bad, and I suck!! I hate alarm clocks! I set it for 8 am, but when it rang I just smacked the button and went back to sleep -__-. Well anyway, while I was getting ready (because maybe I could still be useful over at the school) Gale was reading the paper and read me out my horoscope for today:

The more relaxed you are, the more you can achieve. Taking care of parents or children is a responsibility that falls to you now. Avoid being late, as people take it personally. Respect for tradition scores points.

At that point, I was like, "OH. MY. GOD." Why are horoscopes always so eerily accurate? So I've been worried about talking to Dan now, since he sounded so... Sad? Offended? Hurt? When he told me not to bother coming. I suppose that if it were my Eagle Project, and he didn't show up when he said he would, I would take it personally on some level. Even if I knew it wasn't his fault or something.

"Sorry" just doesn't cut it, but what else can I say...?

Planning

2006-05-12T04:38:00.000-04:00

Yep, I love planning! If you know me (and my bad habits), then you're probably laughing your ass off from reading that. No, really, I do! For some reason most things end up last-minute, though XD. So anyway, lately I've been thinking about what to do for my birthday party. Ever since Grace called and invited me to hers, actually. I had forgotten that mine was so soon!

Mom and I went over my options, and it's either going to be a cool bash with lots of cool people, or a trip to an amusement park with a few close friends. Not many of them like rollercoasters and stuff anyway, so it would be really cool! Maybe we could just go camping, too. I love camping. There's something about being out in the wilderness and fending for yourself that gets me every time. The last time we went camping as a family was... Way too long ago, so I'm kind of lusting for that kind of trip lately. Ahahaha, camping with Dan is like my dream XD.

And that reminds me, today was super-fun! I walked to PHO 2000 with Dan, Andrew, Eliana and Grace. We had soooo much fun; it was awesome. I dunno, I'm feeling really affectionate in my and Dan's relationship lately. I wonder if he's noticed XD. Most of our "pharty" (lol!) consisted of just walking to and from the restaurant, but that's probably what made it so interesting. Andrew brought his video camera, and we got some hilarious footage! Maybe he'll put some on his MySpace or something.

I'm excited about tomorrow, because of two things: 1)Helping with Dan's Eagle Project, and 2)Hanging out with Popo! I haven't chilled with her one-on-one in such a long time, it's gonna be sweeeet. And we're going to go see The Da Vinci Code! Uhhh, whoa. I was just wondering if I had typed out Da Vinci correctly, and found the movie website... Apparently it doesn't come out until the 19th?! Popo!!!!

Lol, what am I going to do with her?

Study Groups

2006-04-30T10:25:00.000-04:00

Hah, so the "study group" at Popo's house was awesome! Even that's an understatement. We had so much fun, it should have been illegal XD. So, for the first hour or so (maybe even two), we actually studied. Matt and Grace explained their notes, and it was going smoothly, but then we realized that in order for everyone to go that we would be there for YEARS. So, procrastination gave way to abandonment of purpose, and we just played games and hung out the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME OF EIGHT HOURS! Hahahaha, that's the best part. Since we walked to Popo's house straight from school, I didn't get home until 9:40 pm. We only studied for an eighth of the time!! (Insert hysterical laughter here.)

It's not our fault, though; Popo has THE most amazing basement EVER. Imagine this: a pool table, a bar, an old-school Pac-Man arcade system, a complete air hockey table, a huge-ass big screen TV, a state-of-the-art gaming room, awesome retro wall art everywhere... And you have Popo's basement. Words cannot possibly describe the awesomeness of Popo's basement. I'm seriously considering having my birthday party down there XD.

The moral of this story? The worst day of goofing off is still better than the best day of work. XD

Hugs

2006-04-19T10:33:00.000-04:00

No, not the diaper brand... I just love hugs. From anyone! Well, not really. Mostly Dan XD. Every afternoon we get to hug without the awkwardness and confusion of backpacks in the way, and it's great. I wish we could just stand there forever, really. Sometimes I'll tuck my face into that comfy space between his shoulder and neck >w<. Dan smells really good, too! I've been telling him that a lot lately XD.

Chemistry time now, tally-ho! Hey, I actually did my homework at home, so I got to goof off on the computer now. Hahaha, I'm rising up out of my hole! <3

Jealousy

2006-04-18T12:19:00.000-04:00

"Aaaaah..." That's exactly how I've felt pretty much all day. I'm so angry with myself!! So I woke up, ready to take on the morning, and had a feeling it was going to be a great day! That feeling was wrong, of course. I must be the most idiotic person to walk the earth. This morning the Library Club met as usual, with Eliana this time to join us. She worked on her homework, the rest of us laughed and joked as usual, but I had to go and ruin everything by saying something quite mean. I didn't mean it, of course, but I know that I hurt someone very much and shouldn't have said it. Aaaaah.

Also today, things with Dan have just... Not clicked. I don't know what the hell my problem is, but I guess I talked about a certain someone a bit too affectionately. It's hard, to have had this kind of infatuation with a character you know you can never reach (like a celebrity or something), and then all of a sudden be expected to never speak of them again. Gillian and I practically followed his every move all last year, and it might just take longer than I anticipated to stop whatever's going on in my head.

Oh well, must go to class now. *sigh* What a guilt trip.

Togetherness

2006-04-17T21:38:00.000-04:00

Do I ever not want to see Dan? This is almost freaking me out. It's been about three weeks now, and absolutely no second thoughts. This is fabulous. It's great fun when we just sit on my porch and talk. Nowadays not for so long though, since my parents are being quite strict and giving me inhumane punishments for the littlest things. The time seems to slow down a bit for us, though, so I'm thankful for that. He's one of the greatest, most amazing people I've ever had the chance to meet. Today for the first time I told him that I love him. I'm quite proud of myself.

I'd better head off now, seeing as I'm not allowed to be on the Internet *sigh*. I'm just waiting until better days. For now at least, I have someone special to brighten them. I'm so lucky.

Love Letters

2006-04-06T12:13:00.000-04:00

Possibly one of my favorite things. No matter how sloppy the penmanship may be, or how many pages, or how much time was put into them, a love letter will always have so much of the giver's heart. Today I received a letter of this sort, from guess who! It really made my day, and the letter itself was so close to my heart. I read it during a lesson on subjunctive/imperative clauses in Spanish, and I almost cried. Seriously, I was tearing up and I'm glad no one (I think) saw me. "Why have subjunctive clauses brought her to tears?!" is what they would have thought XD.

I'm leaving today for Italy, and although half of me still wants to stay, I'm much more excited. Everyone in school who's going is really hyped up about it, and what can I say? It rubbed off ^^. Dan is coming over for dinner, coincidentally for spaghetti, and then maybe even seeing me off at the airport. I don't know what I'm going to do without him for ten days. This really is sweet misery...

Traveling

2006-04-05T10:08:00.000-04:00

I do love to go places, especially far away. The airport is one of my favorite places. I think it's because everyone is waiting. Just waiting. For something to happen, for someone to meet them, for their turn in line... And you always get to see the most interesting people. Gale and I are leaving for Italy tomorrow night, if you didn't know. That's what brought this up. I'm so excited, but at the same time I'm not. I've finally made some awesome friends (namely the BS Club), and I won't be able to hang with them over Spring Break *cries*. On the other hand, should I really be so sad? I mean, we're going to Paris, Pompeii, Sorrento, Capri, and Venice! I'm the most excited about Venice. Ever since I saw a picture of it, the beautiful city suspended over water, I've wanted to go there. One of my favorite manga series is ARIA, which takes place in Neo-Venezia, a fictional city modeled after Venice. Historical events and landmarks are entwined into the storyline, and it just takes my breath away. I'm going to see the Bridge of Sighs! Ride a gondola! Feed the pigeons! It just feels like part of my soul lives there, in the beautiful city above water...

Most saddening is that I'll have to leave Dan for the whole time. That part of me wants so much to stay! I just hope he has fun without me, and takes a lot of pictures! We can have a picture-sharing BS Club meeting when I get back ^^. Venice... Sigh...